A blank black screen with the stark white words Experiencing Technical Difficulties. Thank you for waiting. ITV Then, the static snow of white and grey appeared, followed rapidly by the appearance of a familar green figure in a beige trenchcoat. "Hidey Ho. Kermit T. Frog here again. The normally scheduled Anime Celebrity Staring Death match, due to unforseeable events, will not take place. However, I am pleased to say that I will be reporting . . . Insanity: The Chase!!!" At his last exclamation, the screen windens to show that he is perched within a hot air balloon, high above the loony procession. The balloon itself was a lovely green with a rainbow painted on the side. "As current things stand, the pink rabbit with the black beard, whom we have affirmatively identified as Enma-sama in Jusenkyo form, is in the lead. Following that is everyone's favorite vertically challeneged pyro, Hiei. Trailing in third place is Spandex Boy a.k.a. Heero Yuy. Then in the Mach 5, Nokoru, Akira, Suoh, and Koenma. Apparently having attached themselves with rope to the rear bumper of the vehicle on skateboards is Yuusuke and Kuwabara. Kurama in fox form is running beside the vehicle. And behind them is a loooong line of crazed fans." While the frog continued to comment, a black shadowy figure appeared behind the balloon. As it loomed closer and closer, the massive shape took on the form of a black Viking longboat, floating in midair and complete with a fierce masthead and dozens of oars. At the prow, waving her sword, was the one and she'll neverletyouforgetit and only, Miss Piggy. She was dressed in armor, much more tastefully done than Nakago's. At least the breast plates looked natural . . . It swooped down with unrelenting determination upon the hapless frog and floating balloon. "Ahhhhh! Piggy, what are you doing here?" She snorted and grappled with the struggling frog. "What do you think? I'm marauding and pillaging, " With a gleeful look on her face, he was dragged into the viking ship and it took off once more. "What! She's loose?! We have to gather the others." "Why do you think I came here for, to get you of course." "Not to . . . ?" with a peculiar sort of relief in his voice. "That too!" She glomped him. "Eeep!" Another black screen appeared . . . this time with the white bold face. Now a word from our sponsers. " . . . the New James Bond!! 80% machine, 10% human, 8% gundam and 2% unidentified material . . but 110% ladies' man!!! . . . " ~~~~~~~~~~ "Ne, Trowa . . . This is kind of fun, don't you think so?" asked Quatre hopefully. The taller boy had remained quiet so far; although from the slightly pained expression on his face, he was not enjoying their newest mode of transportation. The chase had continued after their tea break. This time with Mary Poppins offering them rides as well . . . more for the thrill of the chase to continue then for any sense of sportsmanship thought Quatre privately. So here they were once more being chased by the psycho nanny and the safari procession. Only this time, they were seated on plastic carousel animals instead of running. The blonde pilot had a placid looking brown painted camel, he was wedged between the two humps. Warily, he glanced at his partner . . . still looking pained, almost as if his pride was injured. Quatre made a mental note never to insult or make fun of lions in Trowa's presence. Lions. Trowa was stiffly seated on a white lion, edges gilted in pink and gold. It had a fancy plastic wreath about it's neck. He was not happy. Even as he was being chased by a horde, the green eyed boy managed to project around him an air of suffering dignity. Quatre sighed and peered around the rapidly passing scenery. He wondered where they were . . . Somehow, he didn't think that roadrunners and coyotes went chasing each other across desert landscapes in their world, the latter armed with several devices and props, from a company called Acme. None of which seemed to work. Maybe that's where Heero got his self destructs . . . ~~~~~~~~ 5 girls and 1 chibi sat staring at the television in dismay. JJ let out something that sounded suspiciously like a curse, snuggling her chibi Duo doll, and sank deeper into the couch. "Well, damn, " said Syx, throwing herself into a comfortable armchair. "What now?" They had all been looking forward to watching the chase with the comfort of junk food, caffeine, and plush seating. Reishin made a face, absently patting the chibi who was gleefully counting all the seeds she had managed to pull from Kurama's hair. "There'a only one option left." Her dark eyes gleamed with an unholy fervor. Sylvia looked up with a worried look in her eyes. "Uh oh . . .last time you had that look . . . " Wordlessly, she hugged her Hiei doll close. Lauren leaned forward with an interested glint. "Well?" ~~~~~~~ The loud music coming in closer and closer should have alerted Kurama that something was wrong, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight that met his disbelieving eyes. From above, a crazily tilting pale purple helicopter came swooping down, blasting away "She's got the Power" from hidden speakers. Loud, raucous cries could be heard from within, before the helicopter managed to right itself and flew to a higher, safer altitude. In the race car beside the fox, Koenma blinked. Masaka. The entire procession was headed straight towards a dimensional portal. Before he had time to yell out a warning, the head of the line was swallowed in, the rest following in a bizarre sort of conga line . . . ~~~~~~~ "Sylvia!! Steer right! Right!" "Kyaaaaaa. No, wait a minute, JJ. Go left, left!" Simultaneously, Reishin, Lauren, and Syx cried. "Up!! Up, pull the damn thing up!!" Feverishly, Reishin pulled out a manual. On closer observation, the title read 'Flying Purple Helicopters In Pursuit of Bishounen For Dummies v.2.4' Syx asked, with curious gleam in her green eyes. "Where'd you get this helicopter anyway?" The other girl answered with a grin. "Well, since Kermit couldn't make it, they needed another reporter. I volunteered, and this is what I ended up with." Lauren poked at the stereo equipment. "Which is why all this stuff is lying around ne?" She nodded, even as she started calling out directions. "Okay. It says put the thingy around the doo hickey and grab the lever close to the thingamabob. That should activate the whatitsname." Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the helicopter flew at a more leisurely pace. Satisfied, she tucked the book away for future use. Turning, she blinked at the sight of a widely grinning Lauren and Syx. "Ano . . .got something you want to tell me?" Wordlessly, the two held out bungee cords. "Ah. Naruhodo . . . " ~~~~~~~~ Even as the portal yawned open before them, Nokoru pointed a folded fan in the general direction of his wandering uncle. "Ikuzo!! Akira! Suoh!" A fiendish light gleamed in his blue eyes, he hadn't had this much fun since he, Dool, now Duo, and Koenma had decided to see if the core of the Earth had truly been made out of molten metal . . . Eh well, he looked around. Hmm, they appeared to be in a forest, overrun with foliage and large trees and ferns. He glanced down at the silver fox running alongside the car. Then sweatdropped as several multicolored fuzzy creatures popped up around the foliage. A noisy gibbering bunch they were, hollering and hooting, but they did look adorable. Sort of like live animated teddy bears, with sharp spears and knives. . . The car suddenly jerked to the side as a bunch of them swung onto vines and attempted to take control of the car. Akira tried to appease them with some food and drinks. Looked like it was working too. ~~~~~~~~ Hiei was pissed. Iya, he was furious. Even as he raced towards the pink piece of fluff, which seemed to mock him, practically begging to be annhilated, at his full youkai speed, he could not catch up. It was unrelenting. It didn't help that he still had that damn squeaking chibi attached to his back. And breathing down his neck was the intense ningen boy. The one Koenma claimed was his aniki's lover. Hiei was frankly surprised that he would be able to keep up . . . .considering his probably lack of circulation in his lower limbs due to those shorts. Then again, as the fox had commented, with a speculative gleam in his green eyes, it would also make the other *extremely* streamlined. Yet another distraction were these damn teddy bears, irritably he bared his teeth at several, blinking in surprise when they growled back. Well, at least around them he looked tall. A small comfort considering the damn rabbit was threading them through several dimensions. Hiei shuddered briefly, considering how many there actually were . . . hopefully, they wouldn't end up anywhere near Jusenkyo. He did *not* want to end up with a curse. The Koorime growled briefly as the low flying purple helicopter buzzed him. Faintly, he could hear *her* screaming out his name deliriously. He didn't know where those crazed girls had managed to finess a machine like that on such short notice, but it was annoying the hell out of him. Maybe after he finished off his goal, he could get to work on them. Hiei smirked in anticipation, the thought giving him an extra burst of speed, not to mention that the music from the helicopter had been cranked up. Why were they playing "Here Comes the Reaper?" ~~~~~~~~~ "Oi! Sylvia, Stop waving at Hiei and help me steer this thing, " cried out JJ. Of course, she could've done the job herself, but she really didn't want to let go of her chibi Duo doll. "Oops. Gomen, " giggled Sylvia, blowing one last kiss before turning to help her friend pilot the helicopter. "Neechan!! How're Syx and Lauren doing?" The coke-chugging girl looked up from her contemplation of the safety harnesses and various instruction booklets scattered around her. "Daijoubu yo! Ne, Syx . . . Breath deeply for a minute. Wouldn't want it to come loose at the wrong time." A brief pause, then the she asked a trifle nervously, "Are you sure you guys wanna do this?" The green-eyed grin grinned eagerly. "Now, Rei-chan. This is me you're talking to. I'm sure Lauren feels the same way. We live to pester Heero!" She patted her duster coat and the pictures contained within. Syx exchanged a slightly manic tinged grin with the other girl, also strapped down. She replied, "Of course!" The brown haired girl clutched at her clipboard and attached chart. "Besides, how else am I going to finish my research. Heero, the man, the shorts, the mystery. Exposed!!" The other sweatdropped as both Lauren and Syx gave vent to maniacal chuckling, stepping back slightly. "Well, here's your chance. The bungee cord is ready. You're both strapped and ready to go. The helicopter's flying fair low, so it should be easy." As if to belie her words, the helicopter tilted, accompanied by a shriek from one of the pilots. "Sylvia! Don't lean out the window like that!" Lauren and Syx just exchanged looks and rolled their eyes. Absently tapping her foot, Syx asked, "So what are you going to be doing? Just watching JJ and Sylvia pilot?" Grinning, Reishin pulled out a huge megaphone. "Remember? I'm gonna be a reporter." Flipping the switch on, as well as fiddling with the controls on several of the speakers, she stepped out to the doorway of the helicopter. Making sure the camera was turned toward her, she beamed and waved at the lens before speaking. "Ohayo minna!" her loud voice boomed out, sending shock waves throughout the land, also sending all of the native brown creatures tumbling and squealing for cover. "I'll be your friendly guide/announcer for this week's special presentation of Insanity: The Chase. With me now are two intrepid bungee jumpers ready to sacrifice their health, nay their lives, in order to complete their MISSION!!!" Syx and Lauren could only stare as their normally placid err sane err calm err . . . well, friend turned into a raving maniac before their eyes. Put someone in front of a microphone . . . or in this case a megaphone and this is what happens . . . ~~~~~ Heero ran, his eyes fixed on that damn pink rabbit. He wanted to *hurt* that thing . . . but it didn't seem inclined to run out of energy anytime soon. It just kept going and going and going and . . . Irritably, he shook his head to rid it of the chant. The same booming voice filled his head again, this time commenting on the wonderful foliage of this lovely planet, recommending it as a good location for tourism, if one doesn't mind the occasional Ewok sharing your food and tent. Irritably he glanced up at the sky, his eyes widened slightly. Not only was the helicopter still flying erratically, two girls, suspended by rope were heading directly towards him. One of them bounced, yes bounced, by his head. She was the one who had tried to sell those pics of Duo . . . "Yahoooooo! I got more pi--" With a snap, she was headed back toward the helicopter, the cord having contracted. He smirked, good. Still running, he could feel his shorts being . . . snapped. "Waiii! Arigatou Hee--" Then the other one, with brown hair, too was flying upwards again. A nerve began to throb above his eyebrow, as he witnessed them both coming down again, after having exchanged high fives in midair. Mission: Seek and destroy #@&% rabbit. Then get rid of the girls. Resolutely, he ran on, ignoring the two that continued to bounce after him, both cackling with glee. Better than the strange dreams he had been having at any rate. The music was now blasting away 'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' . . hn. ~~~~~ They were everywhere. A few of the green monsters were flooding the upper floor with the rose scented bathwater. More were currently tormenting Lady Une. They had her tied to a chair and was continuously pulling her glasses on and off. A deep female voice snarled, "Get these things off!!!" Glasses off. "Oh, no. Please stop." Glasses on. "Once I get out of this, I'll just . ." Glasses off. "This isn't right." And so on . . . Many more were eagerly piled and partying in the main level of the house, killing time while waiting for sundown. Yet even more of the, yes gremlins!!, were partying like crazy. One ran around wearing Zech's shining helmet, only the bottom half of his scrawny body visible. One enterprising little fellow had found a mini-theatre inside the vast mansion. Now they were watching "The Rocky Horror Picture Shw, " crying out gleefully 'dammit Janette' Unknownst to any of the bewildered and injured technnicians and staff, several more had stolen MS suits and were busily launching off into space. Zechs and Treize were suspiciously nowhere to be found. ~~~~~ Duo scratched his head in confusion. After having made it out of that ghastly pink room, they wandered around in a fog . . . quite literally. A heavy gray mist surrounded them, pierced only by sudden flashes of brilliant white light. Babbit had explained that they were currently wandering through a hallway, which itself was a small dimension. The endless hallway was full of doors on either side. Those doors led to countless other dimensions. No one knew where all of them went . . .nor had tried to map them. "So how do we get out?" "I don't know." The Babbit was then bopped on the head by both Duo and Keiko. "Ya know, I'm really tired of you saying that," growled Duo, as Keiko loomed menacingly over the cringing white creature. "Well, I don't." It sulked. "Can we use those dimension door thingies to find our way out then?" "Ah . . .that could work, but we really don't know where they lead. . . Matte Sana-chan!!" cried the Babbit as Duo immediately tried opening the door nearest him. "Don't call me Sana-chan!! Babbit sighed. "Mou iiyo. Just stick your head in though." "Why only my head?" "Baka. You want to *see* where it is before actually going in." "Ah." ~~~~~~~~ Quatre observed that there was a nerve throbbing over Trowa's brow. Perhaps, he was still upset over the plastic lion he was riding, or the fact that they were still being chased, or that they apparently were traveling through dimensions. Or perhaps, it had to do with the fact that they were passing through a crowded street. All the people and children whispered and stared. Especially at Trowa, laughing that the boy was seated on such a creature. Suddenly Trowa stood up, balancing rather carelessly on the top of his ride. He then did a flip in the air, re-balancing on his fingers, before somersaulting onto the hump of Quatre's camel. The crowd seemed stupefied, before breaking out into applause. Quatre sweatdropped at Trowa's smirk . . . reminded him too much of Heero's. Which was to prove all to true, as Trowa quickly pulled out a small device and triggered it, blowing up the offensive lion. The boy then flipped upright and sat Indian style on the hump. He regarded the blonde boy, almost cheerfully, through his bangs. "Iku zo." "Ah."