"So, you're telling me that there's a demon world and a spirit world." Keiko nodded. Duo thoughtfully tugged on the end of his braid. This was news to him. He wondered what Father Maxwell and Sister Helen would say to the fact that Shinigami did exist . . .A vague memory brushed through his mind, a deep booming voice, a corresponding light laugh. He shook his head slightly. They had been exchanging histories for the past two hours or so. He couldn't believe that the young girl sitting before him was several centuries old. And that she was now just a spirit, kidnapped some time ago, prevented from returning to the Reikai to be reborn. Life was getting s~o complicated. "The people who grabbed you. Do you know who they are, or why they're holding you hostage." he asked. Better to concentrate on escaping first, then sorting through all the extra data later on when he had the time. Keiko shook her head. She only remembered dying, staring down at her corpse and vaguely surprised that Botan wasn't there to escort her to the Reikai. Then, a pink miasama had enveloped her, eventually, dropping her off at this room. She had had no contact with anyone, until Duo. They froze as a deep voice suddenly rang out through the room. "Mwehehehehehehehehe . . . " it said and took a deep breath. " . . wehehehehehehehehe." Both Keiko and Duo sweatdropped. What kind of lunatic was this anyway? "Now that you two are _finally_ awake, you can be awed and shake before my very presence. All is going according to my master's plan. You will never escape from here. We will soon rule over all! Bow down before me. . ., " he railed on. Duo whispered," Ne, Keiko-san, does this happen to you often." The brown-haired girl sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. It's happened every lifetime or so. Although, I have to admit its been quiet for the past few centuries. Look's like power hungry mad conquerors are in vogue again though. What about you Duo-kun." The cheerful boy grinned. "Nah. 's my first kidnapping, unless you count the number of times I've been thrown into prison." Then he added reflectively. " Does the dialogue get any better, 'cause this guy sound like something from a badly dubbed action flick." She laughed quietly, only paying some attention to the ranting voice, "Gomen. It doesn't get better, and I've been kidnapped by the best." Duo sighed and fiddled with the tip of his braid. This was more boring than the lectures Heero had given him on duty and responsitbility. He snickered, not that he listened either way, but watching Heero pace back and forth, barking off orders was kind of cute. . . " . . . and all shall be ours! My master will lead an invasion and annhilate all who dare defy. Resistance is futile." The voice paused to gather enough breath for another round. Duo decided to interject his own opinion at this point. "Oi! Why don't ya stop talking and show us how powerful you are. After all, 's not like we can see you or anything. How do we know that you're not just another stunted munchkin babbling on over there. For that matter, how do we know that you can . . ." Duo let his mouth take over as he quickly scanned the room for the owner of that voice. It didn't seem as if it came from a speaker system. The sound was slightly muffled so the Mr. World Domination could be hiding behind some of the furninshings . . . maybe behind that curtain. To Keiko, he nodded his head toward the curtain. She wordlessly handed him a rather heavy pink quartz paperweight lying on the pastel pink coffee table next to them. The braided boy silently kissed the object for good luck, took aim, and threw it at the curtain. Duo cheerfully flashed a V-sign when it hit the curtain with a meaty thump. Keiko giggled. "Ouch! Teme, what the hell do you think you're doing. I ought to show you exactly how powerful I get when I'm pissed. In fact, I'll . . ." the voice petered out as suddenly the curtain was thrown open, and a menacing Duo and Keiko stood before him. The masked figure cringed against the hard walll as Duo cheerfully cracked his knuckles. "Now, let's just see what you've got under that mask over there." and ripped it off. The chestnut haired boy blinked at the sight before him. Underneath the mask, was a young blue-eyed girl, with her hair partially pinned up in two . . .buns? She cried out. " In the name of the moon, I will punish you!" Accompanying those words, with bizzarre hand gestures and poses. In doing so, she knocked off her mask, revealing a hideously scarred face underneath. Both Keiko and Duo blanched at the sight. "Freddy's here and wants to play with you . . . " Duo shrugged. Well, if the previous one was a mask then this was probably one as well. He ripped that one off. "Oi! That was rude na no da. Don't you have any manners, no da." And another. "Gomen de gozaru na. This isn't it de gozaru yo." Duo growled and yelled, "How do you do that." The angry boy plucked off another mask. This time revealing a purple haired man with a page boy cut. "Sore wa. . . " He placed his index finger over Duo's lips. "Himitsu desu." Duo snarled and pulled off another one. This time revealing a teenaged boy with green hair in a short ponytail. "Miaka!" Duo pulled off another mask. "Tamahome!" and another. "Miaka!" "Tamahome!!" "Miaka!" "Tamahome!" "Miaka!" "Tamaho-ack." Keiko sighed as the enraged American started strangling their identity- challenged captor. Something told her that this could take a while. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Koenma solemnly regarded Botan and George as they stood before him. For once, he had opted for his teenage guise. He cleared his throat. "Botan, George . . . I want you to find and reactivate the old Urameshi team." There that was over and done with. Botan looked shocked. "Demo . . .Koenma-sama, we have several qualified tantei already. Wouldn't it be better to use them?" George nodded in agreement. He had never seen his superior look so solemn . . . nor so sad. Whatever it was, it had to be big. He sweated, hopefully it wouldn't bring down the wrath of Enma-Daioh. Koenma absently flicked back his cape. "This situation . . . is very very delicate. It involves events which you and George weren't here for . . . several thousand years ago. " He hesistated at the next statement. "All I can say, until everyone has been gathered, is that it involves the succession to my father's throne." The other two gaped first at Koenma then each other. Succession? But wasn't Koenma the heir . . . He cleared his throat again. "Which is one of the reasons why I need the old team back together. This is a top secret priority, and as such the climax to the story won't nearly be as interesting without a dramatic pause. Besides, this is how all the actions scenes go. An enigmatic sentence and a dramatic cue. . . Anyway, they are the only ones I can trust . . . as well as you two." Botan and George, having long since lost a clue to where this lecture was heading, snapped to attention at the next statement. This sounded serious. "I will be accompanying you as well. This case comes under my direct personal supervision. " he said. This time George objected "What about the paperwork and the processing of reikai. We can't just leave it to pile up." Koenma grinned, suddenly cheerful. "I have a solution to that!" A dramatic pause, in which Botan and George looked nervously on, this didn't sound so good . . . "A friend of mine, as well as his two companions, will be helping out here while I'm gone. They're very competent, and I trust them implicitly." Botan and George sweatdropped. . . Ningen? . . . in charge of the Reikai? George moaned softly, Enma-sama was definitely not going to like this turn of events. He began contemplating what several centuries in hell were going to be like. The blue oni wanted to start packing right away . . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Keiko screamed, "Kyaaa, you pervert!" and smacked the old balding white haired man who had suddenly glomped onto her chest. She knocked the mask right off. "That's prevect, not pervert." corrected the suddenly horned and green faced man. Duo and Keiko blinked at each other in confusion before turning back to the tied up villain before them. They sighed. So far, they had amassed enough disguises to dress up an entire Oz legion for Halloween, and they hadn't yet discovered the identity of their captor. Duo sighed again and rather unenthusiastically ripped off the next mask, then facefaulted as yet another mask was revealed. This time it was a silver half mask covering a pale white face, unearthly green eyes glowed with an internal flame. A sibilant voice hissed, "I am Torak . . . worship me with blood. Bathe my altar with the screams and calls of my followers. . ." Duo's hand visibly shook as he ripped that mask off too. Something in that voice was so compelling . . . he sweatdropped as he saw the next mask. A fuzzy pastel colored creature blinked its wide black eyes back. Duo could feel his sugar level rising just staring at the thing before him. "Care bear Countdown . . 5. . .4. . .3.", this time Keiko ripped off the mask, muttering something about stuffed marshmallows being all alike. "Oh, Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf. Whatever shall we do?" squeaked out a blue faced, snub nosed . . .thing. " . . . . snarf?" Both frustrated kidnappees facefaulted at the next one. "Pu? . . . pupupupupu . . pu!!." Keiko stared for a moment at the round white fluffy creature, before glancing away. Nah . . . couldn't be. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He wrapped his arms tightly around the slender body next to him, nuzzling into the warm sweet-smelling neck. The other occupant of the bed murmured softly and pressed himself against Heero firmly. The Japanese pilot smiled slightly into Duo's chestunut hair. While he couldn't quite bring himself to show Duo how he felt, in front of others. During these quiet times, he sighed contentedly. During these quiet times, holding Duo close like this, he could let down his defenses and well . . .snuggle. Heero smiled again, technically only a slight upward tilt to the lips but heck, you take what you can get, as Duo stirred in his arms. The other boy blinked wide violet eyes open and smiled enticingly, wrapping slim, wiry arms around Heero's neck. "Ne, He~ero . . .why didn't you wake me up when you came in?" He pressed warm, open mouthed kisses on the other boy's chin.. Heero tilted his head slightly, wordlessly encouraging the other on. He grunted, "You looked so tired . . .," and smirked. "Besides, it's the only time when your mouth is closed for a change." The other boy paused in activities to shoot Heero an exaggeratedly hurt look, then grinned mischievously. "Well, you certainly liked my mouth last night . . ." Heero frowned, flushing slightly in rememberance, and grabbed a handful of Duo's thick hair. He brought in the grinning boy's face in close and gave him a melting kiss. Duo responded enthusiastically, pressing his chest against Heero's. The short-haired boy frowned slightly as something registered in his hazy mind, even as he pinned his lover beneath him. Why did Duo's chest feel so soft . . . and cushioned? He gasped and tore himself away from the American, blanching at the sight before him. Duo had . . . breasts! "Heero," s/he pouted, casually crossing his/her arms underneath his . . . her breasts. "What's wrong?" Heero wordlessly pointed and managed to choke out. "You . . you . . .have b-b- br-breasts." Duo glanced down, unimpressed. S/he tilted his/her head to the side and smiled in bemusement. "Of course I do, koi. You have them, too." With those words, s/he casually pressed a finger to the shocked boy's chest. Heero glanced down at his own chest slowly, unable to believe this . . . situation. He looked and if he hadn't been the Perfect Soldier, he would surely have screamed or fainted. As it was, a nerve began throbbing above his right eyebrow. He had breasts . . . about a size B cup, he supposed. He brought a hand up and pushed slightly at one of the . . . protrusions. In a state of shock, he watched, fascinated, as they swayed and moved with his movements and breathing. Slowly, he tuned into the fact that Duo was still chattering away, blissfully unaware of Heero's chaotic state of mind. " . . . remember that last mission we had? . . . Well, the doctors thought it was better if we became girls. Of course, since it was part of the mission, you were all for it." Here s/he . . .Duo pouted cutely. "I thought I looked good as a boy, but you insisted it was for the mission 'n everything and so this is what happened." Heero could only stare in shock . . . his idea to become a girl because of a mission. The words mission and girl ran through his befuddled mind. His blue eyes began to lose focus, while one part of his mind could only stand back and watch as the Perfect Soldier . . . keeled over in a faint. He could hear Duo's shocked voice calling his name. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Heero . . . Heero . . . Heero!" Hn. Heero grunted and sat up. Then he remembered. Under the shocked gazes of Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei, he grabbed his chest with both hands, frantically patting it down for any traces of suspicious bumps, soft or otherwise. "I'm not a girl. I don't have breasts. I won't have to go out and buy a bra . . . I 'm not a girl. " Heero chanted this to himself softly, momentarily forgetting his stoic, sullen pose(TM). The other pilots exchanged a significant look (TM). Perhaps the Wing system was causing delayed side effects, or he had been knocked around too many times in his gundam, or jumped off too many cliffs sans parachute, or . . . it was a *long* significant look . . . (TM) "Ne . . . Heero-kun, " began Quatre rather hesitantly, pausing in shock as Heero attempted to look down his bike shorts. He was doomed to failure as they appeared to be painted on, but whatever he must have glimpsed at must have reassured him. Heero rose from the bed and marched to his computer desk, blatantly ignoring the rest of the Gundam pilots. The others sweatdropped, the Heero they knew and . . . knew was back. The Arabian boy cleared his throat again, exchanging glares with Wufei, as the other nudged him to continue. Quatre didn't understand why *he* had to be their representative. He continued with a small pout. "Ne, Heero-kun. Have you seen Duo? I haven't been able to find him anywhere. Rashid and the other haven't been able to find him in the kitchen, the rec room, the pool hall, the jacuzzi, the satellite room, the game room, the stables, the pool, the den, . . . " " . . . " was Heero's reaction as Quatre continued to list all the places on his estate where Duo *could* have been and wasn't. Needless to say, it was a big estate. He glanced over at the other pilots, registering that they all looked somewhat disheveled and out of breath. They had ...foliage? in their hair as well. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. Trowa brushed at his hair belatedly, trying to remove some of the burrs sticking to his bangs. The tall pilot seemed uncharacteristically nervous, glancing about nervously. For that matter, all of them seemed to be a bit twitchy. What was going on? He calmly interjected, green eyes gleaming in amusement at Quatre's attempt to bring up a delicate subject, "What Quatre is trying to say, is that Duo's been missing since morning. We would really really like to talk to him." Trowa placed a particular emphasis on the word talk. The blonde boy smiled gratefully up at Trowa, squeezing the other's hand slightly. "No." Heero smirked slightly. The last time Duo had disappeared for an entire day, Heero had discovered him in the bathtub, neck deep in bubbles and wearing only a seductive smile. As he recalled, they had nearly drowned several times before making it to the bedroom. "No, I don't know where he is. " he elaborated, after eliciting another Look(TM) for his uncharacteristic reaction to a simple question. He smirked again, just to see what would happen. No wonder Duo liked provoking people . . . this is kind of fun. The other pilots eyed the still smirking pilot nervously. First, Heero had actually spoken; then, he had almost smiled . . . twice. This was too weird. They started slowly backing away from Spandex boy. Idly, Heero wondered what would happen if he burst out into a Duo-esque laugh...Probably have them jumping out the window or reaching for the nearest weapon at hand he thought. Heero cocked his head to the side . . . what was that noise? A distant rumble coule be heard by all occupants in the room. All save Heero jumped as if they had been given jumbo wedgies and began running for the door. Trowa shouted, on his way out, "Well, if you do see Duo, tell him to come find us quick!!" With those final words, they fled. Heero stared after them rather bemusedly. The roaring sound had gotten louder . . . mixed with the sounds of an elephant trumpeting? or was that a lion's roar? He only had time to blink before a stampede of assorted jungle animals broke through one side of the room. Instantly, he drew a gun from. . . somewhere and cocked the barrel. But the animals ignored him and headed unerringly through the exit where the other pilots had disappeared off to. At a chittering noise, he turned around. Shimatta . . . was his last thought before unconsciousness hit like a ton of bricks . . . or more specifically like an explosion. A chimpanzee, that had been left behind in the chaos, had curiously picked up one of the many self- destruct devices which Heero always stored in case of an emergency. And then had pressed the shiny red button. As everything faded to black, he dreamt of. . . . . .X chromosomes, complete with long chestnut braids, running madly after him, brandishing scythes and screaming "Off with his Y! Off with his Y!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Have some fun Wufei, he sez. Loosen up Wufei. Learn to socialize...Why don't we play a game together he sez!" Wufei spat out the words while trying to run as fast as possible "Kisama!! Maxwell, when I get my hands on you . . ." Trowa, his bangs plastered to the side of his face, replied, a trifle breathlessly. "Look . . . how were we to know that a harmless boardgame would turn out to be something like this." Quatre attempted to nod, but since no one would be able to appreciate the gesture anyway, settled for a verbal reply. "Hai. It was just another game we found in my attic. It didn't even come with a warning label." And so they had been running and arguing since last night . . . When they had discovered the game last night, out of sheer boredom, Quatre and Duo had dragged it out. The Arabian pilot had managed to sweet talk Trowa, and Duo had badgered, harassed and otherwise bothered Wufei into playing. The American pilot rolled the dice first. Maybe they should have expected something in the way the game had seemed to *call* to them, seeming to beat with an internal, fascinating rhythm. Or maybe they should have expected something unusual in the way the gamepieces moved automatically with each roll of the dice . . . After his turn had passed, Duo had gone into the kitchen to find a snack. When he hadn't returned, the other pilots assumed that he had gone to "distract" the Japanese boy from staying in front of the laptop too long . . . They had gone on with the game, only to discover that *strange* things came out of the gamboard. Like a British nanny who decided that *they* were her charges. She had started pulling various things out of a handbag, casually flinging them across the room. Things like rampaging elephants, carnivorous jungle plants, rabid chimpanzees, assorted jungle animals, and most frightening of all . . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Tally ho!!" trumpeted a cheerful female voice, one with a distinct British accent. At the sound of her voice, the pilots ran even faster, not even pausing to look back. They knew who, or more appropriately what, was chasing them. The owner of that particular voice was dressed in khaki. Her mahogany hair was tied back in a neat bun. Perched on her head, at a jaunty angle, was a feather cap. What made this image truly bizarre was that she was riding, sidesaddle of course, on top of a plaster carousel horse. A pole extended from the top and bottom of the saddle. The plastic pastel horse bobbed up and down crazily as the female pointed with a black umbrella at their target. "Tally ho!" she cried out again, leading the charge. At her back were the same stampeding jungle animals that had torn through Heero's room . . . "Shimatta. First she gets the crazy idea that she's our nanny, popping out of that stupid board game. Then, she tries to force feed us sugar and medicine, humming a crazy song. Now, she's chasing us on a demented carousel horse. What's next?" pondered Trowa out loud. As if on cue, the stampeding animals behind them stopped. Loud stage music began to blare from an unknown source. All the animals stood on hind legs and joined arms*cough* hooves, forelegs, wings, etc. Beaks, maws, and jaws opened, and they began to sing.(To the tune of Do-Re-Mi from Sound of Music) //Dough, I need to buy some beer. //Ray, the guy who sell the beer. //Me, the one who drinks the beer. //Fa . . . Mary Poppins(If you haven't figured out who it is by now . . . ) suddenly appeared in front of the chorusing animals, having abandoned her safari outfit for a . . . dress made of drapery? The pilots could only watch, dumbfounded as she pulled out a guitar and began leading the animals in a rousing music lesson. Quatre twitched his head to one side, indicating that they should run while the pursuers were . . . otherwise occupied. They ran for the hills. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Koenma frowned over Botan and George's vehement objections that a ningen would be in charge, however temporarily, of the Reikai. He answered."He isn't quite ningen. He's actually a distant cousin of mine, but he likes going into the Ningenkai once in a while. He finds it . . . interesting." Botan and George paused in their protests to blink at each other. Interesting? Distant cousin? Botan cleared her throat and asked." Ahhh, Koenma-sama . . . cousin on which side?" Koenma coughed, rather embarassedly. "His mother is a handmaiden of Chaos, and his father is the god of Sleep, a distant relative of Death of course. I'll introduce him, and the two friends he's bringing along, when he arrives. . . which should be soon." Probably with a flashy entrance, the godling thought to himself wryly. His cousin was always one for exhibits. At that precise moment, a rather loud whirring sound interrupted Koenma's musings. He sweatdropped . . . no one else could have that impeccable timing, it had to be . . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` "Akira!! Suoh!! Isn't this wonderful?" Impossibly blue eyes flashed gleefully underneath a thick mop of gleaming gold hair. "Kaichou!! " the other two cried out, as their reckless leader cheerfully waved his fan at the openly gaping group beneath him. Nokoru tilted crazily as his momentary slack on the wings of his kite caused an imbalance. Both boys quicly swept to either side and helped support him. Nokoru flashed a blindingly bright smile at his two cohorts before swooping toward the Reikai below them. He adored flying, especially when it didn't require him to be enclosed inside. He laughed delightedly, buzzing the scampering oni below. He frowned to himself briefly as he spied his cousin. . . Yare yare . . . Koenma looked too over worked and worried about this latest situation. Then again considering *who* exactly they were dealing with . . . Nokoru absentmindedly threw some more confetti into the air. Hmmm, no use worrying over things . . people gone and lost. All he could do now was help his cousin. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Koenma closed his eyes briefly, as if that would help erase the image of his cousin . . . flying through the Reikai on a humongous kite. If that wasn't enough, the design, which was of Enma Daioh dressed in a pink ball gown, juggling several blowfish, was definitely an eye-catcher. He couldn't help snickering though. His cousin would never change, whether reborn in the Ningenkai as the feminist heir to a corporation whose total gross was more than a nation's or as a mischievous fairy bent on causing chaos. His search for the exotic and amusing was infamous. Despite all of Nokoru's various exploits, he never seemed to lose his cheery smile or bright look on life much like . . .someone else Koenma had known. He cleared his thoughts with a firm shake of the head, no time for those musings now. He had guests to greet. By now, both Akira and Suoh had landed. They were resignedly waiting for the last of their group to quit floating about in lazy figure eights in the air; he was causing a brief flurry of activity from the oni by flinging brightly colored confetti, all in the shape of a blowfish, to the grounds below. Finally, he landed. For the visit to Koenma, Nokoru had decided to adopt his teenage form. He eagerly took a step forward, then tripped over the lacings of the kite which he had forgotten to untangle. Wordlessly, Suoh helped him up while Akira hovered anxiously in the background. Nokoru thanked Suoh effusively and snapped open his fan as he walked over to Koenma. "Koenma!! Hisashiburi desu yo ne!" He beamed cheerfully. Koenma found himself smiling back, despite all the problems constantly at the forefront of his conscience. There was something so contagious about that charming smile which drew everyone in. He gripped his cousin in a bracing hug, glad to see *someone* who could possibly understand his predicament. He exchanged warm greetings with Akira and Suoh, constant presences, no matter what life time or form, at their kaichou's side. Nokoru, suddenly sober, asked in a hushed tone, "Is it true? They're holding *him* hostage? . . . this could mean war." Koenma nodded to all three questions. They stared into each other's eyes, bright blue holding golden hazel eyes. Wordlessly, they broke their gaze off, as the othes approached. Koenma introduced the newcomers to a starry eyed Botan and a confused George. Nokoru immediately bowed and took Botan's hand in a gentle kiss. Koenma hmmphed as Botan blushed brightly. His cousin never changed. "Ne, Koenma? So all I have to do is process the paperwork and make sure nothing major goes wrong, right?" Nokoru asked a little too innocently. Suoh immediately became suspicious. Kaichou was smiling a bit too innocently, plus he had whipped his fan out and was waving it to and fro . . . not a good indication of things to come. Koenma replied yes and pinned the other with a stern look, "And this time, do *not* under any circumstances flood the Reikai with water and convert it into a swimming pool. I don't care if it was your idea of a summer vacation. Do you know how long it took to drain the stupid thing?" Nokoru grinned innocently. "Maa maa, I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that again. Besides . . ." he flipped his fan closed nonchalantly " . . . it was just a favor to okaasama. She thought Enma-sama needed a little . . . -cough- boost in his life." Koenma closed his eyes briefly. A boost it certainly had been. When his father had shown up, complaining about the noise level, a particularly powerful geyser had opened up beneath him, sending him shooting up into the sky. It had taken several hours to bring him back down. To this day, his cousin declaimed innocence . . . but no one was buying it. Koenma sighed, he was in for an interesting homecoming either way. But there was no other he could trust with keeping the Reikai intact, if not sane. For all of Nokoru's antics, he was as loyal and reliable as . . . Koenma sweatdropped. There were no applicable analogies to describe his zealous cousin he decided. The jr. god decided to leave now for Kurama and Hiei's place before more doubts crowded his already besieged mind. As he was transported away on Botan's oar, Koenma caught a glimpse of Nokoru . . .wearing a toga? He blinked several times then closed his eyes tightly. Take problems one at a time, one at a time. . .