The Bishounen and The Beast Disclaimer: The characters used are the property of Yoshihiro Togashi. I'm just playing with them....heh, heh. -------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a wealthy merchant named Kuwabara. Actually, if this Kuwabara hadn't been so intent on drinking sake, he'd be even wealthier... Kuwabara was really ugly as most people go, but he had three beautiful dau-- er, *two* beautiful daughters and *one* beautiful son. First, there was Keiko, incidentally the eldest, who was one of the most eligible ladies in the countryside. She had deep mahogany hair and tinkling laughter, much like water splashing from a stream. Next, was Botan, who true to her name, was as fresh and sweet as a peony, with blue hair to rival the summer sky. The youngest was the loveliest of all... disregarding the fact that he was a guy (and that this drove the two sisters crazy--their brother of all people, looked better than them). Kurama was his name, but what was in a name when someone looked like him? He had blood red hair, eyes that reflected emeralds, a rich tone to his otherwise feminine voice and a figure even women would kill for. The three children had many suitors--new comers to the area would immediately throw themselves on their knees before the siblings. Needless to say, Kurama had the most suitors... though they were mostly males. Some backed off when they found out the truth, others... let's just say they only got encouraged. One day, Kuwabara was getting ready to sail for some far away place so he could finally get a certain shipment of defective cashmere sweaters off his hands. As usual, he asked each of his three dau-*children* what they wanted. "Father, father, I want that gorgeous Chanel dress I saw on TV the other day!" proclaimed Keiko. "Oh Father, would you be so kind as to buy me that wonderful new perfume called Escada or something like that?" requested Botan. "Father, if it doesn't trouble you too much, I'd really like to plant some new rose bushes in the back garden. Could you get me some seeds?" Kurama asked simply. Kuwabara promised them with a smile on his face that he would do all in his power to get the gifts, though he thought that perfume and a dress was really extravagant and that Kurama's wish was the easiest and not to mention the cheapest to fulfill. Everything went smoothly on Kuwabara's latest business trip (i.e., he had managed to swindle several people into buying the shipment of defective cashmere sweaters). He was even able to obtain Keiko's Chanel dress and Botan's Escada. The rose seeds turned out to be a bit of a problem though... "Damn, is today International Florists' Day or something??? Why the hell are they all closed???" He made a rude sign at the florist's (incidentally, the tenth) shut door. "Oh well, I'll just have to get some on the way back. I can't disappoint Kurama. He's such a nice boy, unlike his bratty sisters..." As fate would have it, Kuwabara ran into a freak Makai snowstorm as he was making his journey home. "Shit..." ...*ahem*. He blundered around the blinding white landscape in his red Cadillac for a couple of hours, convinced that he was going around in circles. By sheer luck, he came across an imposing castle smack in the middle of nowhere. Out of desperation, he decided that it would be best if he sought shelter there for the night-- or at least until the storm blew over. He was about to ring the door bell when the heavy, ornate gates swung outwards in sinister welcome (that is, they swung outward and knocked Kuwabara off his feet). He picked himself up dazedly, uttering a few muddled curses at the same time. He approached the wooden front doors cautiously, just in case they were to 'swing outwards in sinister welcome' once more. Thankfully, this set of doors opened inwards. The interior of the castle was much more inviting than the exterior suggested, with a warm fire and a dry set of clothes waiting for him. He was just a little surprised that the clothes that looked eight sizes too small fit him perfectly when he put them on. There was something wrong with this castle however... was it the way the gates and doors permitted his entry, or was it the fact that gates and doors were inanimate objects and didn't normally do that sort of thing? Perhaps it was because the place was so devoid of life... Whatever it was, he just couldn't put his finger on it. He thought it better to ignore the more rational side of his brain that was screaming at him to get the hell out of there and began to look for a suitable sleeping place. After all, he would be gone in the morning... there was no one around to stop him anyway. But rational side of his brain or no rational side of his brain, he got the ugly feeling he was being watched. *Didja ever get the feeling you was bein' watched?* After wandering about for another quarter of an hour, he found the lavish master bedroom. The bed was a soft four poster, with gilded finishings that reflected the fire leaping in the grate. There was even a robe of good velvet and... whoa, check it out! A phone for room service! Kuwabara was grudgingly impressed. "Whoever lives here must be really loaded," he mused aloud. The thought never occurred to him of course, that the person who owned the splendid dwellings could lurking about, just waiting for a chance to kill him. Instead, he climbed into the bed without a single word of thanks to Enma and dozed off. The next morning was bright, cheery and altogether happy, leaving no trace of the storm the night before. Kuwabara leapt out of bed at once, grabbed his freshly washed clothes and made for the door. It's usually best not to overstay your welcome, especially when you don't even know who your host is. It was funny how daylight could change things. The large castle didn't look so scary any more. It looked like your regular, ordinary, deserted, cobweb infested and likely haunted castle. Kuwabara was out of the place as if the Devil were on his heels. On his way to the front gate, Kuwabara noticed something that had missed his attention the previous night, perhaps because of the heavy snowfall. It was this: rows upon rows, upon rows upon--you get the idea-- of rose bushes, all in full bloom, releasing their heady fragrance despite the frost. Of course he couldn't forget the promise he had made to his youngest and only son! A (bad) idea popped into his carroty head. "Damn, where do you find those rose seeds anyway?" he muttered as he searched around the flowers. He didn't know being, 'botanically challenged'. Come to think of it, he was intellectually challenged too, but that was beside the point. He gave up trying to look for the seeds and decided it would be easier if he were to just uproot a bush and dunk it in the boot of his car. The car, by the way, had been washed and buffed to a gorgeous shine. Whoever owned the place wouldn't notice that one of his prized rose bushes was missing anyway. He had enough to open several florists. Just as he was about to carry out his plans, a lightning quick shadow swooped out of a pine tree and knocked him into a couple of rose bushes "YEEEEOOOOOWWW!!!! DAMNED THORNS!!!" He didn't notice the shadow settle beside him even as he was saying these words. His eyes widened in fear at the hideous sight that was only inches away from his person. It was the *ugliest*, most *disgusting*, repulsive green THING with hundreds of purple eyes all over. "Just what in the f*** do you want? I gave you a nice place to sleep, made those dinky little spirits clean your clothes and your car and you f***ing repay me by stealing one of my rose bushes? ONE rose I wouldn't have minded, I'd have turned ALL my eyes the other way, but you had to steal a whole bloody bush?!" Oh, yes. I just forgot to mention that even though this little green monster was grotesque by any standards, he was also incredibly short. Kuwabara loomed over him in height by about three feet. "Hey little shrimp, what do you plan to do? "JAOU ENSATSUKEN!" Oh silly me! My memory is running a little short! I forgot to say that in spite of his diminutive size, this 'beast' packed one hell of a punch. The attack he had launched on Kuwabara threw him farther into the garden wall. "For that, ningen, give me one reason why I shouldn't finish off your sorry ass right now," the green thing snarled at the very slightly charred Kuwabara. "I'll give you anything you want! How about cashmere sweaters? They're-the latest-in-thing-and-you-don't-have-to-pay-a-cent-for-them-just-let-me-go-please-don't-kill-me!!!! I have three beautiful children I've got to go home to!" "Children?" Hm. Interesting. Beautiful children eh...? "Yes..." "Good. Then I'll take as my bride, the first child that runs to your arms when you go home." "But...but..." Kuwabara sputtered, knowing full well that Kurama, being the filial son he was would be the first one to come out and meet him. Keiko and Botan would just sit in the house and manicure their nails or something. "Well? GO HOME!!!!" The thing grinned, showing a couple of *nasty* fangs," I'll be following." "But you don't understand, when I said children, I mea-" "GET YOUR ASS MOVING!!!!" and to emphasize the point, the little demon/beast/koorime or whatever the hell he was scorched grass before him. "Eeek!" Kuwabara was out of the gates double quick. He stashed the rose bush in the back and drove for his life. The beast tailed him closely. ** ** ** Kuwabara stepped up to his own front gate wearily. Just his luck to meet a crabby fire demon that now wanted his kid's hand in marriage. Such an ugly shrimp too! Kurama would never agree to it. Still, it didn't look like he had much of a choice. He could only pray that Kurama would have the sense to stay in the house. *Stay put. Don't come out, don't come out, don't come out...* At the same time Kurama stepped out of the front door, a big sappy smile on his face. "Father! You're home!" * Damn this. * Kurama observed the saddened expression on Kuwabara's face with much concern. He was about to voice this out when he was cut off by a flying shadow (ha, ha! Get it? Get it? Ha...what do you mean it's not funny?) sweeping him up in his arms, a smirk on its face. (Please do not ask how shadows smirk) "So ya stupid Ningen, say sayonara to your daughter!" He tried to sound dramatic, but ended up falling flat on his face in the attempt. "But I'm a--" "Shut up! Girls are to be seen and not heard!" "Father, what is the meaning of this and who is this--" Kurama took one look at the creature holding him and promptly screamed loudly enough for the inhabitants of Australia to go deaf. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU???????" Sadly, Kuwabara told the story of how he got lost in the snowstorm, how he had attempted to steal the rose bush as a gift, etc, etc, etc. If you can't remember, just scroll back up to read. Yada, yada, the price he had to pay for the gift, yada, yada.... "Father," Kurama suppressed a yawn at the lengthy story. He snapped wide awake again when he realized the thing was still holding him, perched precariously on the high garden wall. "Well, I am the cause of this whole, *unfortunate* misunderstanding, so I should take responsibility, but I'm a--" "That's enough sweet talk, it's beginning to rot my teeth, " the fire demon snapped impatiently. In truth, he was a little ticked off that a stupid Ningen was able to put him to sleep with a story. The things that happened next happened very fast. It could have been teleportation or perhaps it was just the fire demon's speed, but he had Kurama clinging to him for dear life as he spirited him back to the castle. The castle elicited an audible, if contrived, gasp from Kurama. It was *huge*! And there were so many rose bushes about it as well. "Wow, that's awesome!" "Hn," was all he got in reply. The green demon hopped easily over the gates, up several turrets and entered the castle by means of a large window. He set Kurama down with a sigh of relief. "Lose some weight will ya? You're heavy." "What?!" Kurama exclaimed, severely affronted. Never, not once in his life had he ever been even remotely referred to as 'fat'. He was secretly proud of the fact that he could oust a good 95% of the town's girls in a beauty contest. The other 5% weren't up to even trying. "I *said* lose some weight. Are you deaf or something?" "Well, I never!" He huffed back. He crossed his arms haughtily and sulked. A sudden realization made the demon narrow his eyes suspiciously. He considered it for a few minutes and poked Kurama matter of factly in the chest. And yes, to confirm the sinking feeling in his mind, the chest remained stubbornly *flat*. "You're a guy!" "Brilliant observation, Sherlock." "Why didn't you tell me so???" "You didn't give me a chance!" Kurama threw his hands up in frustration. The demon massaged his temples, repeating to himself in a slow, comforting manner, "Calm down, count to ten, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...." This was going to be a little more difficult than he expected. How was he supposed to marry a guy? Even though he is a very nice guy... he mentally killed off the last thought. "Ugh, I can't go back on my word. I'll lose my credibility. Guess you'll have to stay here." The androgynous red head just crossed his arms again and 'humph'ed. ** ** ** "So... your name is Hiei? That's a nice name..." Kurama attempted to make pleasant conversation with the demon that was heaping an assortment of silk, velvet and taffeta dresses on the leaping flames in the grate. It seemed as if he was going to be stuck there for a long time, so he might as well be civil to his host. Besides, he was altogether too nice a person to hold a grudge against anyone for too long, even the sour little youkai. "Hn, so what if it is?" Hiei replied, continuing to heap the colourful clothes into the fire. Kurama found this a bit on the strange side. "Those are perfectly good clothes. Why are you burning them away like that?" "Well, " he said testily, "I was really expecting a *bride*. These clothes are damned near useless now, right?" He sneered, an unpleasant sight, "Unless *you* want to wear them." *Actually, it would be fun to see what he looks like in that green--* he abruptly gave himself a mental kick for thinking such hentai thoughts. *That's it!* Kurama fumed, insulted for the second time that day. He grabbed the next dress Hiei was about to feed to the fire. Well, *sort of* a dress...it was a China style outfit that couldn't be classified as male attire or female attire. I'm hopeless at descriptions... just think of what Kurama usually wears. "I'll wear this, just you see," he proclaimed defiantly. He disappeared behind the nearby screen to put the China outfit on. It was getting dark, so he lit a lamp in order to see better. Naturally, Hiei was carefully watching every bit of movement behind the screen as Kurama's slender silhouette showed up clearly on the flimsy paper. (Let us pause for a moment of fan service, shall we?**drool**) Five minutes later, Kurama emerged to be momentarily concerned as to why Hiei had suffered a sudden nose bleed. "Hiei? Hiei?! Are you okay??" "I'm... fine... " the trickle of blood from his nose had slowed a little, but not completely... ** ** ** "So... how do I look?" He turned full circle to show his er... stuff off to the fire demon who currently had two wads of tissue stuffed up his nostrils. The clothes looked great on him actually. The ensemble was half feminine, half masculine, just as he was, so they suited him just fine. Hiei grunted grudgingly. Kurama just winked in a superior manner. ** ** ** *Maybe the little guy isn't that bad after all.* Kurama thought to himself, moving his chess piece so that it rested in the perfect position to cream Hiei. "Check mate." Hiei's brow furrowed. He knew that Kurama would have been able to beat him several times already, but had withdrawn discreetly at the last minute to give him more of a chance. It was Kurama's bright idea to play chess so as to make up for the clothes burning incident earlier that evening. A nice soothing night of chess. Kurama had won the last ten games they had played. His frown deepened visibly. Chinese chess was not one of his best games and he simply refused to use the Jagan to manipulate Kurama just so he could win. Tempted to, but he wasn't about to do it. *He is kinda nice, in a nasty, rude, coarse way...* Kurama continued to himself while Hiei contemplated his move. It was obvious that he was cornered like a rat. If he moved to the left, he was dead, he couldn't move to the right and if he stayed still, he was dead anyway. "Hah, " Kurama crowed triumphantly, "I win again." "Not fair, I don't play this pointless game all the time." "You're just sore." "Am not." "Are too." "Am not!" "Are too!" "Beedaaa....." "Fine, be that way!" And thus the night ended on a bad note.... ** ** ** The next day was just a little better... sort of. First of all, Kurama awakened to breakfast in bed. *Well, he's probably sorry about the chess thing...* Kurama had really appreciated this of course, and instantly forgave Hiei for his bad behavior. Hiei, unfortunately, was in no mood to be forgiven. Instead, he disappeared with his usual "Hn." and was not seen for the rest of the morning. In the mean time, one could not expect Kurama to remain idle for the whole day. He was usually an active little tyke, helping about with the household chores while his sisters lazed and gossiped, played mahjong, and lost. Oh, no siree! He had to do something! So he put himself to good use. He went in search of the master bedroom and started to mend the ripped clothes he came across. Some of the clothes were really badly torn, quite a few beyond repair, but all were stained with various things like blood, guts, and some other stuff... "Eeew! It's sticky!" ...that Kurama found best not to identify. He made up his mind to give them all a good wash later. *Geez, what does this guy do every day?* he wondered to himself, giving the black tunic he was holding a look of distaste. It was ripped nearly in two... it would *have * to go. He worked industriously and was thus able to finish cleaning the clothes in three hours. It was soon nightfall when he was trying to sew back the hem of a black robe. He was doing this be the feeble light of a single flickering candle, but he did not mind. Even if he did mind, he had no choice because he couldn't find a single stub of another candle. It was work he felt he had to do. Silently, Hiei slipped in to observe him from the safe haven of the shadows. *What in hell does he think he's doing?* The red head bit through the string carefully, re-threaded the needle and continued to sew. He had sewn no more than ten stitches when he pricked himself due to the bad light.(Please applaud another bad cliché!) "Ow!" Hiei was on him in an instant. "Stupid. What did you think you were doing?" he demanded, taking Kurama's wrist roughly. The blood was beading at the top of his finger most invitingly. Hiei stared at it for a long while. He hadn't tasted fresh ningen blood for quite some time... "That's gratitude for you, " Kurama snapped. Hey, he was only trying to be nice, but what did he get in return? Nyada. Hiei didn't release his hand. Instead, he was staring at the bloody digit with the most peculiar expression on his face. "Hiei?" Kurama was rightly worried. It wasn't everyday that someone found your finger so intriguing that they didn't let go for two minutes. "Are you alright? You don't look so good." No response. Well, okay, there was a response, but not one that Kurama immediately expected. Hiei slowly licked his finger clean of the crimson liquid. When he was done with that, he started to suck hard at the wound, attempting to draw forth more blood. Kurama watched in fascination. When he could finally get no more blood from the wound, he stood up unsteadily, as if he had suddenly lost his equilibrium. Actually, he did lose his sense of balance because the next moment, he lost his footing and tripped right into Kurama's arms. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds. The few seconds dragged on to a couple of minutes. Hiei cleared his throat. "Umm... The real reason why I'm here is because...I'm supposed to umm..." he stuttered for a little. "I'm supposed to ask your hand... in.. umm... mrefrrije.." he mumbled the last word, almost shyly. "What?" "I'm supposed to ask for your hand in marriage!" this was shouted. "Oh. Can you tell me why?" "I don't know! I'm just supposed to!" "I see." "Well?" "Well, what?" "Is it a yes, or no?" Kurama considered this, then quite calmly said... "NO!!!" He got up abruptly, dropping Hiei to the floor in a messy heap. "KITSUNE NO BAKA!!!!!!" ** ** ** Six weeks later... Kurama couldn't quite say he hated the koorime/beast's castle, but he couldn't say that was he very happy about being there either. In short, he hardly knew what to think of it. The beast was relatively civil to his 'guest' most of the time, leaving him alone most of the day to go do whatever it was he usually did in the day. Kurama had the distinct feeling that it involved hacking people to itty bitty little pieces but said nothing about it, lest the beast got the idea of sharpening his katana on his neck. To be honest, the beast was a rather nice beast to be with for company if you could ignore his lengthy silences. Kurama decided he quite liked him. Despite all this, Kurama still wished he was allowed to go home to see his family members, even if his sisters were just about the brattiest two people one could ever hope not to meet. He was thinking deeply on this one day, while he was giving the rosebushes a trim. So engrossed in thinking was he that he didn't notice a small black clothed creature hop down in front of him. "AHHHH!! WHAT THE--oh, Hiei, it's you." "Hn, cut the crap, what's up?" "Um, nothing..." "I hate liars. It makes me want to cut their tongues." he touched the glinting edge of the katana for emphasis. "Since you put it that way..." Kurama eyed the same precision edge nervously. It didn't pay to mess with Hiei. "Yes?" "It's my family," Kurama admitted. "I kinda miss them. Father may drink a lot, but it's only because he has problems with business deals sometimes," Kurama paused. "Or so he tells me." "My elder sisters boss me around all the time, but they are still my kin. As the old saying goes, blood is thicker than water." "Heh," the other smirked, still fingering his katana, "tell me about it." That certainly affirmed Kurama's suspicions on what he usually did most of the day. Hastily, he brushed that topic aside. "The thing is, I'd just like to see them all again, just once. Is that to much to ask?" "Umm... yes." "Hiei!" "Hn, I could tell you didn't like it here. Fine, go ahead." "Hiei, be reasonable, it's not that I don't like it here, I just need to go back for a visit. You took me away so suddenly I had no chance to say good bye." "I am being reasonable." the beast was sulking, obviously. "Are to." "Are not" "Are to!" "Are not!" Just before it turned into a full fledged hissy fit, Hiei gave in. "Oh... alright..." he shoved his hands into his pockets and fished about for moment. He found what he was looking for and dropped it into Kurama's hand. "Here, take it." "Hiei, I already told you I'm not going to marry you!" Kurama exclaimed. The proffered ring was just a simple gold band engraved with nothing else but a common design. "That's not what it's for, idiot!" "Then what in hell is it for?!" he couldn't help feel slightly disappointed. After all, very few people were able to resist him. The beast fished around his pocket some more and came up with a crumpled and stained instruction leaflet. "Ah! Here it is!" Hiei squinted at the small print. "What does it say?" "It says that you have to come back within three days or something bad will happen." "For example...?" "Just something really bad!" the beast didn't seem to want to broach that subject. "Don't take it off. If you want to see me, all you have to do is twist the ring and look in a mirror." "Way cool! Where did you get this thing?" "Flea market somewhere. It cost a dime." ** ** ** Kurama packed his new clothes into a small overnight bag. He was only going to be away three days at most, so it was pointless to bring back more than what he needed. He looked at the ring he was wearing thoughtfully. *Maybe it doesn't work.* he mused. *How do you know?* a small voice asked. *Try it out.* He followed the instructions the beast gave him and looked into the full length mirror in a corner of the room. At first the images appeared vague, but they slowly coalesced into the shiny, wet surface of bath tiles. Hiei was there too, disrobing himself wearily, his clothes once more having taken the brunt of a messy battle. *Oh my!* *gasp* *blush* Kurama found it slightly difficult to tear his eyes away from the stunning imagery. *blush* *giggle*... ** ** ** "Kurama!!! What are you doing here?" Kuwabara was overjoyed to see his son. "WAAAAAHHHH!!! I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!!! WAAAHHH!!!" "Umm.. yes," Kurama said, peeling his over-enthusiastic father's arms from around his waist. His sisters were a little less than pleased on his return since the number of their suitors shot to a record high while he was away. They were even more pissed when they saw him clothed in obviously expensive (not to mention obviously Chinese) attire. However, the two Wicked Sisters(tm) put on a reasonably good show of being happy for him. "Kurama-chan! It's so nice to see that you're okay!" she had a big, fake smile pasted over her face. Add batting eye lashes to that and you have a killer formula of deceit. "Where have you been?" demanded Keiko, "Where did you get the clothes?" "Yeah!" "*sigh* Long story..." Kurama began telling them the whole story from the beginning. To say that his family was amazed and didn't believe him would be an understatement. Not that they doubted the existence of the koorime, oh no, they believed that part. It was the part about the koorime being so generous that they didn't believe... "Get outta town! The little runt asked you to *marry* him? For real? *After* he found out you were a boy?!" "Well... yes." Kuwabara sat back. He was going to take a little while to digest that piece of information. It seemed rather clear that this news had permanently immobilized some of his brain cells. "He also said that something really bad would happen if I didn't return within three days." "Really?" now this caught Keiko's attention.. She immediately assumed that whatever the 'really bad thing' was, it would happen to her brother. "Yeah, it was really weird. He seemed awful touchy on the subject, " Kurama mused, never suspecting for one moment what his sly older sister had in mind. "Oh well, I'm sure you'll be back by then." Keiko said easily. "You run along and take a bath or something. Botan and I still have to... uhh... wash the dishes! Yeah, that's right.." "But Keiko we never wa--!" Botan started to whine but was cut off by Keiko clapping a hand over her mouth. She was shortly dragged into the kitchen amid plenty of kicking. Kurama shrugged and headed up the stairs. ** ** ** The next morning at breakfast, Botan spotted the trinket on his finger. Due to her air headed-ness, it wasn't actually a big mystery how she missed it the night before. "Now where did you get that? Don't tell me! That little creep gave it to you!" "He is not a little creep! He gave me this ring so I could see him whenever I want." Kurama regretted mentioning that immediately. "Real magic? Show me! Show me! Show me! Show me!" Botan wheezed. "I don't know if that's really a good idea..." he was remembering the last time he'd tried using the ring. "Do it, " Keiko threatened, waving a frying pan over his head. "Eek! Okay! Okay... Keiko, you can put that down now..." Kurama hoped desperately that the ring wouldn't catch Hiei in the bathroom again. To his enormous relief, the mirror revealed Hiei perching a tree instead of the toilet seat, scanning his territory for unwelcome visitors. Not that visitors were actually welcomed anyway. "Eeeew! That's him?" "Yup." Keiko and Botan stared at the green skinned demon speechlessly, then made faces. "Glad I don't have to marry him." Keiko muttered. "Don't think too much on it Kurama, " Botan cooed in a most ingratiating manner. "I made this lemonade just for you. Have a little and try to forget." "Uh, I'm not really thirsty right now, so I think I'll save it fo--!" Kurama didn't get the last words of his sentence out as Botan grabbed him by the nose and poured the liquid that didn't look too much like lemonade down his throat. "*cough**cough**sputter**sputter*!" Five seconds later, the Magic Sleep Potion(tm) Botan had filched from the town's sensei, Genkai, began to take effect. ** ** ** "Rise and shine! Zippety doo da, zippety yay... my oh my what a wonderful day.." Kurama awoke to the most terrible singing ever to have been suffered by anyone. There was a hideous headache pounding at his temples, but it was unclear whether it was caused by the after effects of the Magic Sleep Potion(tm) or the horrible singing. The horrible singing was thankfully out in the hall way, but it was steadily approaching. Something nagged at him at the back of his mind. It was something important he had to do.... At this moment, Kuwabara burst in, good cheer written all over his face. "Gooooood morning!" He crowed. Kurama remembered what he was supposed to do. "Father! What day is it? How long have I been asleep??" "Mr. Blue Bird on my shoulder...o/~.." "Father, quit singing and tell me!" Kuwabara paused. "I dunno, you've been out for..." he counted his fingers, " ... two days. Say, what did you eat?" "That's not important right now.! I have to get back to the koorime's castle pronto or there's going to be trouble! Please father, lend me the car!" "Now Kurama, you know you haven't got your license yet, and it's dangerous to for some one as young as you to drive." "Just lend me the damned car!!" "Alright, but I expect you to be a responsible young man--" Kurama was already out the door. Kuwabara bellowed at him from the window. "There had better not be any scratches on that!!!" ** ** ** Kurama reached the koorime's castle in the late afternoon, after getting lost and having to stop and ask for directions three times. The castle seemed strangely desolate, much more gloomy than it usually was. Not that he was expecting the castle to get up and say a cheery "Hi!" to him. What he was expecting however, was the fire demon leaping on him and snapping at him because of his lateness. Things were too still, though one couldn't say that the birds had stopped singing since there were no birds to begin with. Nope, it was just his six sense bugging him, as if tapping him on the shoulder and saying, "I'm not going to say what it is, but something's really wrong here." His sixth sense was never wrong. *Could something have happened to Hiei? Good grief, it must be my fault! I shouldn't have come back so late!* After much debate over what to do, Kurama finally hit upon the bright idea of using the ring Hiei had given him to find the little fire demon. He spotted a mirror (out of convenience) up the hall. The images in the mirror shook him a little-- Hiei was writhing on the floor, moaning in pain. Thank heavens he recognised the part of the castle Hiei was in. It was unfortunately, quite far away from where he was at that moment. He did the only thing he could do. He gathered up his heels and ran like hell. ** ** ** Sweat poured off Hiei's brow as he fought to remain conscious against the searing pain tearing away at his sides. It was pretty much like having a hot poker pressed hard to the left and right of your ribcage, only raised to the seventeenth power. *Where's Kurama?* he thought, *He said he'd come back, why hasn't he--* The darkness finally conquered his mind, cutting off his thoughts abruptly. Kurama knew beyond doubt that the unmoving figure of Hiei he saw meant that 'something really bad' had happened. "It's my fault, isn't it?" he asked aloud, gathering his 'friend's' still form in his arms tightly. Hiei barely managed to crack open an eye (fortunately, not that Jagan) and mumbled softly, "You came back. Hn. About damned time too." "Hiei! I'm sorry I was so late!" "You're here now, aren't you? That counts." Hiei grimaced, holding his left side. "You're in pain!" "I'm dying, you idiot." "What??? Why?" "Not important. Will you marry me?" "Uhh... umm...er..." "I knew you wouldn't agree..." "Alright! Yes, I'll marry you!" "Thanks Kurama. That was just what I needed to hear." "Huh?" (Corny Special Effects Alert!) Billowy clouds of noxious black smoke rolled over the room, wrapping Hiei up in some sort of cocoon, blotting out nearly everything in the room and nearly causing Kurama to have a severe attack of asthma. "Hiei! *cough**ack**wheeze* What in heck is going on?!" "I'm back, tougher than ever, that's what." The smoke effect began to fade away some what. "Hiei?!" "Yup, believe it or not, it's me." "You're...you're... you're HOT!" Kurama immediately glomped himself to the now gorgeous, well muscled and in short, very desirable Hiei. "You see, " he started to explain, "Madam Train-Wreck-for-a-Face *ahem* I mean, Mukuro, cursed me in my Maijin form just because I didn't want to wash her car after I took it out for a spin." "Poor you, " Kurama cooed, trying hard to pay attention to what Hiei was saying. He was actually too busy cuddling him to listen. "So," continued Hiei, "I was to stay in that form until someone was willing to marry me. Either that or wash her damned car for a month." "And you rathered staying in that form than washing her car?" Kurama asked in disbelief. Hiei shrugged. "Have you seen the size of her car? Anyway, we're married now." "Don't tell me you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to marry me!" If Hiei was just trying to get rid of the spell... shucks, he had such a great bod too... "I never said that." "Oh that's good then, " Kurama piped. He grinned slyly. Hiei didn't know what happened after he saw the red head leap and wrestle him to the ground with a triumphant cry. ** ** ** Around three hours later, Hiei sat up, or tried too. He slumped back in exhaustion. "So, koibito," Kurama said, seemingly unfazed by the passion they shared during the aforementioned three hours, "When are we going home to tell my family the good news?" "As soon as.. I don't feel so... tired." "Looks like we won't be going back for a *long* time." *POUNCE!* "!!!!" ~~Owari~~ ----------------------------------------------------- Well, did you like it or did you hate it? You hated it???? *sigh* You win some and you lose some. Feel free to mail me at cresent_star@hotmail.com if you want to give your C&C. Yes, that includes things that sound like "That sucked!".... Cresent Star(c) 1998 (like anyone would want to copy it...)